Welcome to the officially sanctioned, exclusive internet home for my songs. I was at first hesitant to turn over exclusive rights, but after five hours of negotiation with myself (which left in its wake two broken bathroom mirrors, three rolls of toilet paper, and half a pack of band-aids), a mutually acceptable contract was drawn up, allowing for the creation of the page that is now before you. I'm not at liberty to disclose the terms of our arrangement, but I can confirm that they involve beer and self-gratification.